year since Doogie. A year since my arrest. A
months since his death. I struggle to understand what
happened, still, today.
I really a human? A woman? A mother? A leader? An American? A
are these people who relentlessly pursue me? Are they
human? Why are we so different? I don't comprehend.
say I'm a hero for rescuing Doogie. I like it. I hate it when
anyone saves anything and then denies that they are a hero, for
it steals the beauty in the act. In that one moment of
your life you are a hero, regardless of whether you embrace it
or not. Whether comfortable with it or not. And maybe
you'd return the dog and maybe you wouldn't. You don't know until
say I'm a devil for stealing a dog. I hate it. I hate
it that they can't see, that they can't perceive of anyone doing
anything selfless, and so attribute vile, self-serving motives
to it. Because they never could or would.
hate that I care. I resolve to stop caring.
ex-husband is trying to take my kids. I hate it. I struggle to
understand. I cry every day, and I couldn't cry before. But now
I can. Facing the loss of my children I have rediscovered
that I am human after all. And mother.
will say it's karma. I took Doogie, therefore now I may lose something
I love. Trouble is, I didn't chain my children until they
could no longer stand. And ride ATVs while they writhed on the
ground begging for me to see them.
bore both children without drugs. None. I did that for them, not
me. Now when a doctor asks me to compare my pain to the worst
pain I ever felt, I have to say it's a 1. Because once
you've born a child without drugs, most everything else is just
breastfed my children for 1 and 2 years respectively. I did that
for them, not me. Anything which ties a woman to a baby,
sagging her breasts for life, cannot be attributed to selfishness
in a society tied to looks and body image.
I lose my children because I give so much of myself to my other
'child', Dogs Deserve Better, that I've left them open to 'hostile
takeover'? I haven't guarded them closely enough, given them enough
of me, the mother? I struggle to mother both children
and dogs, yet I love them all ferociously, and would
gladly lay down my life for all of them.
shoulder the onus for stealing Doogie. Not without great personal
sacrifice, not without absolute conviction in moral right and
year later, I will spend days in court for both Doogie and my
children. Faced with the possibility of losses on both
sides. Weakened from pain. Faithless in the rightness
of our society and our system...
the depths of despair, one thing remains clear. No matter how
ugly our world is, no matter how much pain there is to endure,
how you are pursued, persecuted, tortured, tormented, that only
thing that truly holds meaning in the end is did you
do the right thing? The TRULY right thing...not
the thing you justify to yourself and others.
one you feel in your gut.
did, and I cling to that knowledge. And for now I cling
to my children, and love them ferociously. Give
them more of me.
am terribly flawed like most humans, and some days an utter failure.
Then the cat who's life I saved—with a year-long raw food
diet (yuk)—jumps to drink from the meditation fountain,
and I smile. My children tell me they love me—and mean it—and
I melt. And Miss Deer—the biggest scaredy dog in the world—sleeps
on my bed and licks my hand, and my heart beats its joy.
September 11, 2007, I feel too deeply the struggles of the world,
and the unfairness within. Today, we hold a collective
sadness in America, and my suffering is only the tiniest particle
in that sadness.
I hold every suffering soul in my heart, and wish for you all
the courage to do the right thing, even when it's hardest. Maybe
in that awakening alone will be the salvation of mankind, and
with it man's best friends.
is my hope.
Grimes, mother, founder, Dogs Deserve Better
want to help with financial support.
can now accept donations over the phone using a major credit card
donate by mail, send check or money order to P.O. Box 23, Tipton,
PA 16684. Thank you!